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| yellow signs with exclamation marks can’t be good |
It has been well over a year since I
have been here and my German is at best comparable to young child who isn’t really on the top of the curve himself. It is a fact that I am most times at
peace with my incapability’s. But every once in a while, when placed in
environment where vocabulary, sentence structure and nuances play an important
role, I find myself severely handicapped.
When it comes to speaking German, I
usually possess an alarmingly low level of self-conscience. This allows to me
speak freely and butcher the language at will. I often see contorted German
faces in our discussions. I suspect that is nothing to do with the subject
matter but rather due to fact that the German native speaker is endlessly
looking for me finish with a verb. My incessant use of the wrong article and
its wrong clause makes them question sexuality of dinner tables, curtains and
trains. I roll umlauts of my tongue as if they are pests and that is enough for
someone to wonder if I meant gay or if it just fairly humid, if it is beautiful
or already has been done. I enjoy this inflicted torture on the native speakers
and enjoy the small victories when they actually get a joke I cracked.
usually possess an alarmingly low level of self-conscience. This allows to me
speak freely and butcher the language at will. I often see contorted German
faces in our discussions. I suspect that is nothing to do with the subject
matter but rather due to fact that the German native speaker is endlessly
looking for me finish with a verb. My incessant use of the wrong article and
its wrong clause makes them question sexuality of dinner tables, curtains and
trains. I roll umlauts of my tongue as if they are pests and that is enough for
someone to wonder if I meant gay or if it just fairly humid, if it is beautiful
or already has been done. I enjoy this inflicted torture on the native speakers
and enjoy the small victories when they actually get a joke I cracked.
Recently though, as I begin to learn
more, I finally understood what a massacre operation I have been running in the
past few months. In a room fool of strangers all speaking very good German and
using the polite form to each other, although they might have shared a smoke
just last night, I felt fairly limited. Before I could express what I wanted to
say, someone else had said it in a much better fashion. I was responding to
intricate questions with a yes or no, losing my eloquence to fear of
embarrassment. Awareness of your mistakes can be very slowing and damage
intuitions.
more, I finally understood what a massacre operation I have been running in the
past few months. In a room fool of strangers all speaking very good German and
using the polite form to each other, although they might have shared a smoke
just last night, I felt fairly limited. Before I could express what I wanted to
say, someone else had said it in a much better fashion. I was responding to
intricate questions with a yes or no, losing my eloquence to fear of
embarrassment. Awareness of your mistakes can be very slowing and damage
intuitions.
Finding this border with your language
capabilities is a fascinating experience, no matter how terrible it may seem.
All the while, when before I was rambling away in English, I did not once
notice how complicated each sentence was, how many nuances the gaps indicated
had and how different words would have entirely varying effect on the listener.
You begin to understand how a child must struggle to tell just how wonderful
that visit to the zoo was or how superbly delicious that piece of chocolate
was. And how difficult must it be for a lover to whisper sweet nothings in her
ear in a non-native language.
capabilities is a fascinating experience, no matter how terrible it may seem.
All the while, when before I was rambling away in English, I did not once
notice how complicated each sentence was, how many nuances the gaps indicated
had and how different words would have entirely varying effect on the listener.
You begin to understand how a child must struggle to tell just how wonderful
that visit to the zoo was or how superbly delicious that piece of chocolate
was. And how difficult must it be for a lover to whisper sweet nothings in her
ear in a non-native language.
You also finally begin to grasp the
pain of what other feels when they are in the same boat. I don’t mean the
tourists who at best are looking for a toilet, but immigrants who are learning
to re-live. I studied engineering in a city that was adamant about speaking the
local language despite the fact it housed students from all over India. In that
way, it is eerily similar to Germany and its apparent distrust of the English
language. What goes around comes around.
pain of what other feels when they are in the same boat. I don’t mean the
tourists who at best are looking for a toilet, but immigrants who are learning
to re-live. I studied engineering in a city that was adamant about speaking the
local language despite the fact it housed students from all over India. In that
way, it is eerily similar to Germany and its apparent distrust of the English
language. What goes around comes around.
There is of course no way out. My German
is not going to magically get better in a couple of years. Perhaps I would
reduce hacking the language apart but for the most part, it is going to creak
and croak. I will often wonder how we got to this point. How did a single
source of homosapiens lead to over 6000 languages? Were we so desperately trying
back then to ensure that our conversations stayed as private as possible? Today,
when the world is rapidly shrinking we are now shoe horning our nuances in Facebook
and twitter snippets, trying to solve a problem we alone created.
is not going to magically get better in a couple of years. Perhaps I would
reduce hacking the language apart but for the most part, it is going to creak
and croak. I will often wonder how we got to this point. How did a single
source of homosapiens lead to over 6000 languages? Were we so desperately trying
back then to ensure that our conversations stayed as private as possible? Today,
when the world is rapidly shrinking we are now shoe horning our nuances in Facebook
and twitter snippets, trying to solve a problem we alone created.
Until a universal language comes
about, I will continue to be lost in translation in this country and her
people. We both would understand each other well, but that would take time and
an increase in my ability to finally hear what she is saying.
about, I will continue to be lost in translation in this country and her
people. We both would understand each other well, but that would take time and
an increase in my ability to finally hear what she is saying.
I think you understand where you are, when the sprache ceases to be the defining part.