…twelve…thirteen…fourteen

Like it has been often, one of us is in a train again. This time I am headed away from her. We would  however meet again soon. But that next time would be in very special circumstances. We would be then us. Bound be legality and recognized by love.

I have played this out in my head for a long time. Even when I was alone I always expected to meet someone and have her take me away. And then when I met someone as wonderful as her, I expected it concretely. When we agreed to this, back in March, it was but a matter of time and my imagination of how this week would play out was even more defined.

But as it is always the case, the odd reality of emotions leave no place for Shakespearean dramatics. We are both counting down and up. There is clarity interspersed within our bundle of nerves. We are imagining ourselves in our outfits and on the cameras portlier than normal. We are hoping for a good hair day on that day. For it to not rain. For our loved ones to enjoy their time. For the best of wishes and for the best of starts on turn one. On a microscopic level we are just wishing for a very good day.

And we had so many of those already. In Salzburg we got used to holding hands. In Portugal it was cold and rainy but our hearts couldn’t have been warmer. And in Ireland we froze in the evenings and thawed out in the afternoons. In Austria the mountains played witness. We made movies in Croatia.  Plenty more memories lay scattered across Europe, those that draw smiles endlessly.

Strangely the rarity of dark times has worried me. Have we stress tested this enough? Is that the engineer in me amplified by the German pessimism!? I am puzzled by selection of her clothes and topics of interest. Our Venn diagrams are full of null sets. My vanity troubles her. We argue on capitalism. She is between a hipster and a hippy but I accuse her of being both. I am a round peg in a square hole but she accepts me grudgingly. 

We pull through every time though. She was persistent and once I began to see it too, it was clear as day where and how this would be headed. Even if we have now only two weeks left.

The bigger scheme of things plays now rapidly in our heads. My confidence stems from the purity of her love and the beauty of life in her dimpled smile. We are marrying our strengths and dampening our weaknesses in each other.  We are an union whose expiry can be perhaps challenged only by mortality. 

There is plenty that can wrong on that day except the ending. That is a given.